Broken Until Fixed
by cowgirl97
Summary: Takes place during New Moon. Simple One-shot. Based off of Broken by Lifehouse. Rated T because I'm paranoid. It's in Bella'sPOV in the middle of the book, and it's basically her dealing with her depression and feelings for the people around her.


**A/N Okay, this story is a one-shot that randomly popped into my head one day when I was listening to Broken by Lifehouse. I'm warning you now, if you are a Team Edward fan, you probably won't like what you read. So, don't get mad at me! I have my opinions! I honestly have nothing against Edward; I just don't think he is as good for Bella as Jacob is. Of course, we all have our opinions, so if you want to point out your side of the fight, I'm perfectly okay with that. Just don't get mad because I wrote my own version of the story. We all know Edward ends up with Bella anyways, so this is how I'm making myself happy, because I personally think the only reason Jacob imprinted on Renessmee was because Stephenie Meyer didn't want to get rid of Jacob. Therefore, ****Breaking Dawn ****was not my favorite book in the series. But, whatever. **

**This story takes place in New Moon, specifically around the time Bella jumps off the cliff. **

Broken Until Fixed

_The broken clock is a comfort __  
__It helps me sleep tonight __  
__Maybe it can stop tomorrow __  
__From stealing all my time_

I woke up in the middle of the night, but not because of the usual reason, screaming my head off because of my strange dreams. Quite the opposite, actually. I was startled to realize I hadn't dreamed anything at all. I looked at my alarm clock and saw it was blinking and saying that it was 11:45 PM. I knew for a fact that that wasn't true since I had gone to bed at midnight. Great. My clock was broken. I sighed; if only I could go back in time. Then I could stop Ed-...er, _him_ from leaving (that's right; I'm so pathetic I can't even say his _name_). If I couldn't stop him from leaving, I at least would've liked the chance to keep myself from going into this dumb depression. I knew it was pointless because he wasn't coming back no matter what, but I still couldn't get over him. Maybe I should take Cymbalta or something.

Jacob was getting frustrated with me. I didn't know how long it would be before Jake finally got too tired of trying to fix me. Thankfully, he wasn't trying to force me to do anything. Yet. I just didn't know how to explain to him how I would never work right again. I guess I could try and use a car analogy. But that would mean I would have to look up stuff that needs fixing on a car engine the most.

I yawned and decided that I should go to sleep, considering that I would need tons of sleep to be able to pull off my plans for tomorrow. The instant my head hit my pillow, I was consumed by sleep.

_And I am here still waiting __  
__Though I still have my doubts __  
__I am damaged at best __  
__Like you've already figured out_

I stood and peered over the edge of the cliff. I couldn't believe I was about to jump off a cliff. Yes, I was cliff diving. Recreationally, of course. I don't know why I wasn't waiting for Jake. He had been the one who promised to take me. But I was tired of waiting for people. I had been waiting for..._him_...for five months. He wasn't coming back, but I was still about to jump off a cliff to see him.

I took a deep breathe and walked back a few steps to give myself room for a running jump. I slipped off my jacket and was about to jump when I heard an angry voice cry out, "Bella! What are you doing?"

I was about to answer when I realized that it wasn't the smooth, velvet voice I had been expecting. It was slightly shrill, probably because the owner of the voice was freaking out. I whirled around and saw Jacob a few feet away from me, his face etched with worry. "Well? Aren't you going to answer me?" he demanded.

"I...I wanted to try...you said we could-"

"Yeah. I meant it. But I also meant _together_." Jacob drew out the syllables of the last word, emphasizing his point.

"I'm sorry."

"Did you not even think about the weather today?"

"Uh..."

"Bella..." Jacob groaned before grabbing me into a bear hug. "You could have killed yourself!"

"I'm sorry..."

Jacob sighed and pulled back saying, "C'mon. Let's go to my house."

"Can I meet you there?"

"I don't know..."

"I'll just be sitting on the beach. I promise I won't go anywhere. I wanted to be alone."

"Fine. But I won't be far."

"Okay. Thanks." I watched him walk away before turning and heading down to the beach. I sat on a large boulder and stared out at the waves. On a lower level I realized exactly how choppy the waves were. I was suddenly glad that Jacob had stopped me, even if I hadn't gotten to hear his voice. I gasped out loud when the hole in my chest was suddenly ripped open. My breath turned ragged as I tried to make the pain stop.

_I'm fallin' apart __  
__I'm barely breathing __  
__With a broken heart __  
__That's still beating __  
__In the pain __  
__There is healing __  
__In your name __  
__I find meaning_

A set of warm arms wrapped around me, cradling me against a warm chest. A sob wracked through my body and the tears I had been holding in for five months finally fell. A strong hand wiped them from my face and rocked me gently. "Shh," a voice whispered in my ear. "It's okay honey."

I looked up and smiled at my comforter. It was Jacob. Of course it was. Jacob had always been there for me. And he always would be. He was my own personal sun. Suddenly, I realized there was a chance that I could be in love with Jacob. A big chance. But I wasn't sure he would want me once he realized exactly how badly I was messed up. I leaned back into his chest and breathed in his musky scent.

Jacob was warmer than _him_, literally, and Jacob could give me so much more. He could give me life. Plus, I never hurt around Jacob. I always felt complete, like nothing could hurt me. Maybe Jake could also protect me better than _him_.

_So I'm holdin' on_

I needed to let him go. He didn't want me, and I no longer loved him. Sure, he was my first love, but barely anybody ever spent the rest of their life with their first love. That's what Renee and Charlie did, and they ended up getting divorced.

_I'm holdin' on __  
__I'm holdin' on __  
_  
He had always been over-protective, but I had always thought it was sort of cute, like it was one of his ways of showing me his love. Now, I was mad that I had given into him so easily. And his crooked smile that I had always loved now seemed creepy and a little scary. His smile was nothing compared to Jacob's warm smile. I needed to let him go, but I had no clue how.

_Well, maybe if I finally just said his name, it would be a start_.

Hmm…that could work…

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the pain. _Okay here I go_, I thought. _Edward Cullen… I no longer love you_.

To my surprise, it didn't hurt at all. I felt absolutely no pain. I must have already let Edward go. _But then why had it hurt when Jacob had left? __  
_  
Jacob! That was it! I had thought of Jacob's name right before the pain had started. And then Jacob had made it stop. I had finally given up on Edward, and the only reason I still hurt was because Jacob had to be other places, unlike Edward, who didn't hang around anyone but his family and me.

_I'm barely holdin' on to you_

I loved Jacob Black. I was absolutely _positive_ of that. I turned my head to look up at him and smiled as he wiped away the last of my tears.

"All better?" he asked. I nodded. Concern was deep in his dark brown eyes. "What brought this on?"

"I...I missed you..."

Shock flitted across his face before he grinned from ear to ear. Before I knew what was happening, his face was leaning towards mine, and surprisingly, I was leaning towards him.

I have to say, my first kiss with Jacob was..._fantastic_. Jacob was smiling my smile, and I felt my answering smile forming across my face. I leaned into him again, and we just sat there in the sand, watching the waves, and enjoying each other's presence.

I was no longer in love with Edward Cullen. Instead, I loved Jacob Black, my best friend. I was no longer falling apart, because Jacob had stitched me back together. I was no longer broken, because I had been fixed.

_Happily fixed_.

**Ta da! This was my first one shot, so tell me what you think. By the way, Team Edward fans, I meant it when I said you could give me your side of the whole Edward/Jacob thing. I would appreciate it, actually. I like hearing what people have to say (especially opinions about this story!). **

**R & R? **


End file.
